In 20 minutes I shall set off with Skater to pick up two of his mates. We are then driving to south London where we will catch an underground train to Kings Cross St Pancras. From there we will make the short walk to an old church where we along with a sell out crowd will watch Prodigal and his band perform.
I am beginning to get used to my new injections although I still don’t think I would be able to do them for myself. I’ve had seven in total so far and the only one that actually did hurt was the first one that was done by the diabetic nurse. Since then two of my colleagues have done them for me and the last few Owl has done.
I have noticed since I started having these injections that my appetite has been much smaller, I am struggling to eat much of even my favourite food. I am suffering from heart burn on an almost daily basis. I feel very full and bloated. I would have thought that considering that I am eating less I would feel slimmer but I feel fatter.
Since watching that program yesterday about the people who have to follow extreme life changes to lose weight I have decided that I need to make myself go for a walk every day. I have now done two days. I can’t promise I will go every single day but I am aiming for 5 times a week for now.
This morning I got up early, I had got an idea into my head about a possible new story I wanted to write. I wrote two pages right away and have been thinking about where I want it to go from there. This afternoon I was reading another blog When all is said and done and found a post talking about a book ……The Bobblehead Dad by Jim Higley. I have not read the book but I gather that Jim has survived cancer and this is his book about it. This got my mind working. I have been going wrong all the time I have been trying to write a novel. All this time I have been trying to find a plot to write my fiction novel about, when all along I have been wanting to write about living with and after cancer. I have already written about my experience with cancer elsewhere so why don’t I just write my story in my own way instead of trying to put it into a work of fiction.
For the second week I found myself home alone for most of Saturday. Owl is on a 3 day course that takes place on Saturdays. I had driven him into the city early in the morning before returning home. Skater was watching Soccer AM (which I hadn’t seen for years, there had been a time years ago, when it would have been on our tv every week.) He then went off with his skateboard to meet his friends for the afternoon.
After Soccer AM had finished I had surfed the channels and found a program I hadn’t heard of before (I don’t usually watch tv during the day), Fat, The fight of my life. I watched as a 25st (350lb) woman was put through her paces walking up a steep hill, completing a strenuous assault course, swimming and various other exercises. This got my mind thinking that I really should be going out for a walk while it was dry. So that is exactly what I did. We are lucky to have a country park very close to our home.
It was very muddy underfoot, not surprisingly after all the rain. In fact the footpath actually had a stream zigzagging along it. Even though the weather was mild it was still a little on the chilly side. I did have gloves in my pocket but didn’t wear them as I was busy taking lots of photos which isn’t easy with gloves on.
Here is a selection of my photos.
I was sat eating lunch in our kitchen today when I turned to look out of the window. I had seen some sparrows on the feeder when I came in from work but they had gone. Sitting on top of the feeder was a brown bird. I couldn’t believe my eyes for a second. This bird was much much bigger than the sparrows that had been there earlier. I grabbed my phone with the intention of taking a photo, but before I could set it up the bird hopped across to the hedge. I watched as this large bird made its way through the hedge in a downward direction. Normally if I look carefully I can see sparrows moving around in among the branches but not on this occasion.
I always keep a book of garden birds on the breakfast bar where I was sitting. Thumbing through the pages I didn’t expect to find this bird which we both agreed was obviously a bird of prey not a garden bird. Much to my astonishment I did find it, we now know that our surprise visitor was a female sparrow hawk. No wonder the sparrows were nowhere to be seen. It wasn’t long before I had to return to work and it was dark long before I returned so I didn’t see the sparrows returning.
I wonder if we will see the sparrow hawk again.
In the 18 months since we moved into this house we have not been able to open the sliding patio door from the kitchen out to the back garden. When we moved in there were many sets of keys to sort through but none of them were the right ones for the patio door. It would have been nice to get access to the garden through these doors especially if we wanted to entertain but hey ho. Just a minor irritation, one that we could live with after all we do have a back door just around the corner.
With all the recent wet weather that has gone on and on for weeks we have not been able to open our back door, which being wooden has swollen. Each day since Christmas we have tried to open the door but to no avail. Now 2.5 weeks since Christmas day (the last time I filled the bird feeders) we were getting frustrated. I really wanted to feed the birds, and Owl wanted to sort out the tarpaulins that were coming adrift from their positions. Each day we have hoped that it would be dry enough for the wood to start drying out.
Yesterday whilst at home alone I thought I would find out whether it was feasible to get a locksmith in to change the lock on the sliding door. This morning a young locksmith arrived. 40 minutes later he was leaving us with a new lock and keys and a door that opened for the first time in what is probably a lot of years.
Obviously the first thing I did was to go out and refill the bird feeders.
I am happy
As you know I started to work on my first serious writing project a few months ago. It was a struggle to find inspiration for my plot. Eventually I came up with an idea and began to write. My friend who had encouraged me to begin the process in the first place offered to edit my first 5000 words. This very kind lady had a look at my work, pointed out what was missing and made some encouraging comments about what I had written. Since I began writing some years ago I was proud of my ability to describe places and feelings, so that the reader felt as though they were there. I found conversation awkward. This time however I concentrated on the conversation and forgot about the rest of it.
Since realising my error with the help of my friend I have been going over in my mind what I want to do. Do I work on what I have and make it right? Do I go ahead with it as a screen play or do I start all over again with something else.?
Unfortunately life has also got in the way over the last few months so no progress has been made in any direction with my writing.
Today I am home alone, I am taking the time to consider my options. One option I have started to look back at is a story I began back in 2008 (I can’t believe it was so long ago) according to the date on the document. This was an idea I had for a children’s book aimed at girls aged about 8 or 9.
Having revisited it I know that if I decided to take this path it will need a lot of work but I can do that. My mind is mulling over so many possibilities that I just know there is a story in there waiting to be told I just need to work out which one.
Here is the first draft of the first 2 pages of chapter one.
Katie and Harry are putting on their coats and scarves.It is the half term holidays and they are staying with granny in the country for a few days while mummy has to work.
Granny lives alone now with just Jasper the old yellow dog with his shaggy hair and Tiggs her old grey striped cat. His name is really Tiger but everyone calls him Tiggs for short. He spends most of his day on the window seat catching the sun.
‘Come on Katie hurry up’
Harry calls to his big sister as he runs out of the back door.
I’m coming wait for me I just need to finish getting my wellies on.
Granny has told the children to be careful as the paddock is still muddy after the rain last week. Granny will watch the children from the kitchen while she is busy cooking their dinner and baking fresh scones for a special treat to have later. This morning they all got in a mess when Harry wanted to help with the chocolate fairy cakes.
‘Harry put on your pinny if you want to help Katie stir the mix.’
‘ Granny can I lick the bowl can I can I’
He had pleaded. When Katie was carefully spooning the mix into the little paper cases on the tray.
Now Katie pushes the door open and races out to join her brother, Katie loves her little brother even though he is only seven and still acts like a baby sometimes. Next week Katie will be nine then she will be even more grown up than she is now.
Harry must be hiding as Katie can’t see him anywhere. She sits down on the bench in the middle of the field.
I don’t care where you are I am just going to sit here and wait for you
The sun is shining but it is still cold and the leaves are falling from the trees. Katie watches them for a while. Harry comes out of hiding to kick the leaves around where they have fallen in piles under the trees at the edge of the field. Then Katie notices that the big tree on its own, granny says it’s an oak tree has still got most of its leaves.
She wanders over to the big tree. There are a few leaves on the ground some brown others still a bit yellowy but there are other things too. Granny told the children when they were little that fairies live in this tree and they use the acorn cups to drink from. But that was just a story for little kids wasn’t it.
Katie looks up into the branches thinking Harry must have climbed up there while she wasn’t looking. But he isn’t there she can see him over at the fence now talking to the old brown horse in Mr Cartwright’s field. Nelson must be getting old now, he’s even older than Katie is.
There it is again, that whisper almost as if the tree was whispering her name, but trees can’t talk.
Who are you and what do you want
Katie is trying to be braver than she feels now, she thinks of calling Harry over here or maybe she should run to him.
Katie it is me, I won’t hurt you, I have been watching you. You are a kind girl, I see you feed the birds and stroking the animals.
But who are you and why won’t you let me see you
She peers up into the branches looking for a clue.
Katie you can see me, I have been her for more than a hundred years, you have climbed into my arms I mean my branches. My little friends the fairies want you to become one of our friends.
But you have to promise not to tell anyone our secret.
Katie tries not to jump up and down with excitement
I promise I promise
Can I tell my granny though cos she told me about the fairies and I thought it was a story.
Katie your granny knows our secret but as she got older she forgot about us and now she just believes we are a fairy tale that she remembers. We don’t need her to remember that we are here.
If you promise to keep our secret we can have lots of fun and adventures.
Shhhush now Harry is coming over. I will tell you more when you are alone.
Could this be my story that I need to tell?
Today has been New Years Day, tomorrow I go back to work after 12 days off. I can’t believe it has been 12 days, it only feels like it has been a long weekend. Maybe my long day in hospital followed by Christmas and now New Year have made it feel less time. I didn’t leave the house from the time I got home on Christmas Eve until Monday when I went food shopping. Then on Monday evening the four of us (Owl, Pug, skater & I) went to the pub for the Christmas/End of Year Quiz (we came last but had a good evening).
I had intended to do a lot of writing over the holiday period. Apart from a few posts on here I have not done any writing. However I have been reading. I am on my third book by Maddie Cochere over at Breezy Books .
But now we are starting a New Year, I am not one for making New Year resolutions. However whilst I have been blog lurking I came across an idea whereby each day for however long you like you fill a jar with the good things that happen in your life. Then at the end of the period you take out all the slips of paper and remind yourself of all the things (big or small) that have made you happy during this time.
I will be starting my jar today with the news that my friend who I have known for nearly 20 years has said yes to the marriage proposal she received today. I am so happy for her. I have never met this man but I do know that in the last three years he has been good for her.
As for my writing I am at a stand still at the moment which I will explain another time but this does not mean that I have given up. Watch this space for news of which direction I choose to take. I have a number of options I am just undecided which to follow.
I hope that 2014 turns out to be a better year for everyone.
Last night my husband said to me …..’I shall be 60 this year, how do you think that makes me feel?’
My reply ……’Lucky, you made it this far My dad only just made it to 55′.
I really believe that no matter what cross you have to bear there is always a silver lining to every cloud you just have to look for it.
Happy New Year to everyone.