Life on hold

I have been wanting to write a new post for days now but what to write that has been the problem. I don’t have an exciting life to write about. I don’t want to be constantly writing about the wild birds we see in the garden (there are not that many at the moment).

I would rather not be writing about the ongoing saga that is my current marital situation. However I can now say that the house is finally up for sale and an open day is planned for this coming weekend. Although my husband has been feeling rather low recently he is now being much more positive.

Personally I am not really living, I feel that my life is on hold. I go to work (which although tiring I do enjoy). I return to the home I am sharing with my mother. I either read or sleep interspersed with conversations with my mum. Sometimes I manage to sort through some of the many boxes and bags that have been transported here to be stored around the perimeter of my single bedroom.

The big news of recent weeks was our outing to a Rotary Club Quiz night. Yes I know I really know how to live the high life. Our team came second (losing by just 2 points).

Next week I shall be taking two days off from my work. The plan is that I will drive with my mother to London where we will visit my son and his fiancee who I am pleased to say will be making me a Granny in May.

I have said for many years that I am not yet ready to become a grandmother as I haven’t yet finished being a mother. I know many of my friends love having grandchildren, for me it has not been something that I have been in a hurry to participate in. However I was beginning to worry that my sons were going to leave it so late that I would be too old to enjoy my grandchildren when they do finally arrive. Having four sons I do anticipate that I will have more than the one grandchild.

I am hoping that by the time the summer arrives I shall have sufficiently recovered from recent events that I will be in a better place mentally as well as financially to be able to start enjoying life again.

life on pause

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My Tree

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It isn’t really my tree, it isn’t even in our garden, it is next door but it fills my view when I gaze out of the window. I don’t actually know what species it is. From my seat I catch a glimpse of movement from the corner of my eye. It could be the breeze moving the leaves. It could be the squirrels chasing each other around. Often it would be the pigeons. Sometimes I see the robins (there are two) blue tits, great tits or black birds.

The more I concentrate on the tree the more movement I see. I love watching the birds progress around the tree. Today I have also seen some magpies in there and for ages there was a small brown bird bouncing around all over the place. I had my binoculars to hand and managed eventually to see that it was in fact a sparrow. Very odd as in the two months I have been here there have been no sparrows in the garden. It took me  few weeks to realise that there had been none around.

Do you have a favourite tree that you look at often?

3rd time

Well this is the third time in my adult life that I have ended up living back home with my mum. The first time I was in my early 20s, I had been abandoned by my older boyfriend. I had stayed on in the bedsit we had been renting until the end of our contract.

The second time was just prior to having my first son. I had been living in a bedsit in Tunbridge Wells, I didn’t know whether my baby’s father would stand by me, it was winter and I went to stay with my mum until after the birth, we stayed for 4 months before finding our own place.

Now 30 years later here I am again. It feels very strange to be in my mid fifties, living with my mum. We are looking after each other. I have to tr hard not to interfere and do things for her that she would normally do for herself. I have however emptied the vacuum cleaner for her and carry the laundry basket up or downstairs for her. I do know that I am scheduled to get into the cupboard under the stairs to read the gas and electricity meters for her.

I’m not sure how I feel about having my meals made for me, it is good to have someone else doing the cooking but odd not doing the meal planning.

I am used to spending the time I am with my mum just talking for hours on end, sitting quietly reading or snoozing in between conversations is something I am having to get accustomed to.

We are planning to get a new bird feeder, one that will be positioned where we can both see it. I did my first laundry wash today, it has been years since I last dried my clothes on the radiators.

 

Here’s to my new life.

 

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Not so little tits

It has been a while since I mentioned my garden birds, most recently I was showing off about our friendly Robin who I got quite close to. He even ventured into our kitchen one sunny morning. Back in May I posted about the baby blue tits that had been visiting my bird feeder. See little tits. For months we were visited by these blue tits, starlings, Mr & Mrs blackbird, many sparrows, the occasional greater spotted woodpecker. We also have regular visits from a couple of pigeons and from time to time a dove.

Over the summer we saw fewer starlings and eventually the blue tits stopped visiting too. The blackbirds had gone, we were left with the sparrows and pigeons. Then Mr robin began making his presence known. He would keep Owl company while he worked in the garden. He would keep me company whilst sat in the sun or hung out our washing etc. A few weeks ago I saw my first gold finch. Then I noticed some tits on the feeder. Getting out my binoculars I discovered that although there was a blue tit feeding there were also three great tits. Not only are they larger and darker in colouring but I noticed that they behave differently too, darting around.

We also have the blackbirds are back and it is impossible to miss the squabbling starlings. This morning I have seen the tits again both blue and great. I am looking forward to the next six months to see who else might visit.

Saturday surprise

This morning I was making my breakfast when I saw my friend Robin swoop down into the garden. He was feeding when I went outside to greet him. I thought I would sit in the garden to eat my breakfast, just to see if the Robin would come any closer. He flew  away but I stayed where I was, drinking my tea, munching on my marmite toast, reading my book. All the while my phone on the table set to camera in readiness for that photo opportunity.

I must have been out there for about half an hour but there was no further sign of our Robin. Eventually I gave in and took all my breakfast paraphernalia indoors. It was when I was at the sink that I noticed a movement in the corner of the room. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Hurriedly I grabbed at my  phone. Skater came running into the room to see what was going on. Being taller than me he was able to get closer than me to take this photo.Indoor Robin Yes this was our Robin, not in the garden where I expected to see him but in the corner of our kitchen. He panicked and tried to get out of the window which was closed. He must have come in through the open sliding door, but I hadn’t seen him even though I was sat just a few feet away from the door. I went outside to see if I could get a better photo from the outside, this must have spooked him as he then managed to fly towards the open door and escape.

 

I can but wonder what my next Robin experience will be.

Just an hour

Yesterday I spent an hour in my garden watching and talking to a particular feathered visitor. Here are some of the photos I took.

1  hello 6   I’m under the hydranger7 now I’m feeding.    10  13I like playing hide and seek beside the geranium. 15  I’m getting closer 18 I can’t see you now.21 can I take this?

At one point when I was sat on the decking just 2 feet away from the geranium I thought the robin was going to come right up to me. When he was on the grass he was only about 8″ away from my knee.

Just a little sunshine

They promised us a warm September week, which to a degree it has been. The temperatures have hovered at around 20 degrees for most of the week. The skies have been more grey than blue. I have though found a couple of things that have brightened up my days.

In our back garden we have two yellow standard roses. One of these has been flowering on and off all summer the other has done nothing. Yesterday I was gazing at the flowering rose and noticed that one of the new flowers was not actually yellow. apricot rose  closer standard rose doesn’t this bring a smile on a grey day.

There is one other little bit of sunshine I would like to share with you.

When I came home for lunch earlier in the week we were standing outside chatting about our morning when I noticed we had company. On the flat roof of the extension was one of our little feathered friends. He/she was singing away almost within  touching distance. As I watched he/she flew down onto our table before running around on the decking. Finally he/she came to rest on the corner of a plant pot. Would you like to see who our visitor was?

Robin  I waited a few seconds before taking this next photo. Robin 1 Can you believe I was standing just a few feet away from him/her. This will give a better idea of how close we were.Robin 2 I am hoping that over time we will become better acquainted.

Oh and I nearly forgot to mention that the other morning we had another visitor. It was Owl who spotted it first, just as he called out ‘look’, I saw a flash of yellow landing briefly on the rail by the shed. I didn’t have time to take any photos before it flew off again. I did get enough of a look to be able to identify our new visitor as a gold finch. The first I have seen that close up.