Moving

This moving business is quite exhausting. When I left my husband four weeks ago today, I only took with me what I needed for a few weeks. I didn’t know what the future would hold. How would he react? Would he cope without me?

In the first couple of weeks communication was mostly unpleasant messages sent from him to my phone. I didn’t respond. I returned to the house a few times to collect more of my clothes and other belongings. Still I was not 100% sure whether there could be a way back for us or not. However the house needs to be sold. I need to remove my belongings from the house.

At the beginning of this week I finally had a message from him to say that he loves me and wants me back. 3 weeks it had taken for him to say he misses/loves me. We spoke on the phone the following day. It was a good conversation. He told me that he is working at getting himself sorted out. He hasn’t had a drink for a month (I know this is not accurate). He said he has begun going to AA (which he hates). I told him that I am not ready to go back. One conversation is not enough to convince me that anything would be different. We need more time, more of everything that is positive.

Two days later I spoke to him again but he had reverted to type. He was rude and after a few words hung up on me. Yesterday I had not been home long from my morning working when he called me. In my car I keep a portable tyre pump, he needed it as he had a very flat tyre. I agreed to take it over to him. The tyre was completely flat. We talked briefly. It is funny how he can be civil to my face. I packed more of  my things into my car and gave him a lift. He had arranged to meet someone and was running late. Surprisingly he needed to be dropped off at the pub!

Later when I was back home again he rang requesting a loan as he needed to go out in the evening but would pay me back next day. We had quite a good chat about things I need to collect. I am going over there today and will go up in to the loft to see what is up there. He can’t because of his broken collar and shoulder bones. Apparently the house will go on the market this week. During the conversation we also talked about the future. He now wants a divorce. OK, so now I know where I stand. I have no intention of divorcing him but if that is what he wants that is up to him. He is moving on without me, he is looking for other women to date/have sex with.

All the times he has told me that he loves me and doesn’t want to lose me obviously count for nothing. I did think he might fight a bit harder not to lose me.

I shall remove more of my belongings today, it might take a few more trips as I find it very difficult being in the house that I thought of as home for 5.5yrs. I don’t want or need much, mostly it is clothes and books. Most of which I don’t need to have with me anymore. Most of the clothes I have already brought back here have been sorted and bagged up for charity.

Moving out of the house and moving on with my life seem to be my priorities right now. Apart from working I am sleeping a lot. I think that although on the outside I am coping with all these changes, my body is exhausted by it all.

moving boxes

 

 

 

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It’s a brand new year

Today has been New Years Day, tomorrow I go back to work after 12 days off. I can’t believe it has been 12 days, it only feels like it has been a long weekend. Maybe my long day in hospital followed by Christmas and now New Year have made it feel less time. I didn’t leave the house from the time I got home on Christmas Eve until Monday when I went food shopping.  Then on Monday evening the four of us (Owl, Pug, skater & I) went to the pub for the Christmas/End of Year Quiz (we came last but had a good evening).

I had intended to do a lot of writing over the holiday period. Apart from a few posts on here I have not done any writing. However I have been reading. I am on my third book by Maddie Cochere over at Breezy Books  .

But now we are starting a New Year, I am not one for making New Year resolutions. However whilst I have been blog lurking I came across an idea whereby each day for however long you like you fill a jar with the good things that happen in your life. Then at the end of the period you take out all the slips of paper and remind yourself of all the things (big or small) that have made you happy during this time.

I will be starting my jar today with the news that my friend who I have known for nearly 20 years has said yes to the marriage proposal she received today. I am so happy for her. I have never met this man but I do know that in the last three years he has been good for her.

As for my writing I am at a stand still at the moment which I will explain another time but this does not mean that I have given up. Watch this space for news of which direction I choose to take. I have a number of options I am just undecided which to follow.

I hope that 2014 turns out to be a better year for everyone.

Last night my husband said to me …..’I shall be 60 this year, how do you think that makes me feel?’

My reply ……’Lucky, you made it this far My dad only just made it to 55′.

I really believe that no matter what cross you have to bear there is always a silver lining to every cloud you just have to look for it.

 

Happy New Year to everyone.

I’ve got it!

I have been thinking long and hard to find it.

Today I got it

Today I decided on a working title for my book.

From today my book will be known as

The secrets of No 15

In other news I had a lovely visit from Statto and his girlfriend over the weekend. They arrived late on Saturday evening. In the morning I took them to the station so they could travel to Portsmouth. Statto was taking part in The Great South Run.  He did it in  78 minutes.  Later we went for a meal with my mother, my husband and my youngest son..

I also made my Christmas cake on Saturday.  For those of you non Brits this is what I mean. Traditional Christmas Cake

Next week I shall be having a minor surgical procedure at our local Super Hospital. Unfortunately my husband is unlikely to be able to take me, so some of my colleagues  have kindly volunteered to take me and pick me up. Thank you ladies.

Complicated

This business of writing seriously is complicated.

Because I have decided to expand my short story writing into something more I now have to think about who my characters are, give them each a profile.

Now I am starting to think about where I am setting it. Village, town, city. What should I call it etc. Building up a picture in my mind.

Another thing I have had to think about is what kind of book will this be, but I realise I have no choice, if I am to write what I am any good at it  will have to be humour.

I have not written any more since I wrote the first two scenes, but my mind is constantly working on building it.

One day I will get started on the story proper.

Computers and all that

A few weeks ago my computer decided that it didn’t like me any more.

How could I tell ?

The password that I have been using ever since I got this laptop suddenly couldn’t be recognised.

I had to start using a different profile, one that didn’t have Administrator status. Ok, so I could still use the internet. I could still write.

But I could’t perform admin functions.

It would only be a matter of time before my computer began to break down.

I googled how to get past the password problem.

What I read was not encouraging.

So I decided to re-install windows.

Hey presto everything back to normal …………..not!

Newly installed windows 7 but no internet driver.

Luckily I had just one more day before my son Pug goes off to Uni again.

He managed to rescue my computer, get the internet back and sort out one or two other issues.

All I need to do now is get windows office back so that I can continue with my writing.

By the way I now have 2 short stories completed. It is now my intention to continue writing these short stories all based on the same set of characters. I can then put them together, fill in the gaps and turn them into a longer story/book.

funny shades of grey

When I got home from work today I noticed that there was a small package plus a couple of cards (unopened) on the shelf in the hall. All were addressed to Owl, which in itself was no surprise as he will be doing his best to avoid gaining a new age on Monday. He told me that he thought the package was from me, but no although I have ordered  a thing or two for the occasion my purchases will be delivered to the office.

Now intrigued he rushed off to retrieve the small parcel. pulling apart the cardboard covering it revealed a book. I noticed that the accompanying slip advised that this was a gift from his sister. But why I asked had she sent him this book of all books.

“Because I told her”

“You told your sister that you wanted this book……why?”

I know that last summer and autumn everyone was talking about this book. The front cover proclaimed that it was…Erotica for the not-too-modern male. I had seen the book on the shelves many times last year but didn’t remember the cover being quite like this.

It took a moment to realise what we were seeing.

Owl opened up the book and read a few lines before laughing and closing the book. But every time he replaced the book he had to pick it up again to read more extracts. Eventually he had to give up as he was laughing so much that tears were splashing onto the floor tiles.

Here are a few extracts for you………

Without a word, she grasped me firmly by the hand and led me up the garden path.

‘Put on this rubber suit and mask,’ I instructed calmly.  ‘Mmmmm…..Kinky,’ she purred.

She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then harder until finally it came. I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot…..

His sister had done him proud, this book is very clever and very funny.

This wasn’t the book I had first thought it to be

fifty sheds of grey

In a few days it will be Owl’s birthday and his sister knows that I have bought him a new shed. So this book is very apt.

We have discussed many times whether we should read that other book that I had at first thought this to be, however I think this book will satisfy our imagination and humour far better.