Yesterday we had a visit from a specialist nurse. She came to assess how mother manages in the house and see what help she could give. Another grab rail will soon be installed.
Mother has been shown better ways of getting in and out of bed and her armchair. She has been forbidden from using the riser function of her chair. If she can do the exercises she has been given she will have more strength in her legs. This will make her less dependent on me which will be good for both of us.
Today I was out of the house for much longer than on any day since my surgery in August. I attended a mini socially distanced online training summit. It was a big occasion for me. Partly by managing to be away from home for more than just one or two hours at a time. Also for socially distanced spending time with friends that I haven’t seen for almost 18 months.
Whilst there I took a phone call from a ‘private number’ which turned out to be one of the drs at our surgery. She had the results of the blood test I had on Wednesday. Apparently I am anaemic again which explains my low energy levels recently. She has read the letter I had sent a few weeks ago. I was then grilled about my bowel problems. She is recommending that I am seen by a gastroenterologist urgently.
I am glad that my problems are being dealt with. However I am trying not to think about what this entails.
Mother survived her day at home alone. I made her lunch before I went out. She tells me that she has done her exercises. Perhaps in the not too distant future we will both be physically better off.
It hasn’t been a great week for me. I wanted to get my new Avon books out ready so I could put my first order of the month on early. I would normally pick up my first batch of books and hopefully orders on or around the first of the month. This month is different. In their infinite wisdom Avon decided to send out the march bonus books with the April brochures.
Now I don’t want my customers to miss out on the fantastic deals in the bonus book so I have been waiting for them to arrive so that I can get both books out together. They arrived this afternoon.
In previous month’s I would have picked up one batch of books on Monday then put out another lot to pick up today. My next lot would have gone out today for pick up next Monday and so on. This month however my first batch are only going out today. To make up for missing a week I shall have to put out and collect more books each time.
Although I am now recovered from my surgery I do still get very tired easily. I shall see what I can do.
As it is I have not been feeling great for several days so in a way I have been relieved that I wasn’t going out but that’s beside the point.
So today I have done deliveries. Come home to be here when my books arrived. Slotted them into the packs I had already made up. I have put out half of today’s books. Later I shall do a few more deliveries and put out a few more books. I know my customers will be happy with the 5 for £5 deals we have.
I have recently been following The Hot Goddess. In truth she started following me first. The last post I read was about fear. It got me thinking about fear too. She talked about her fear of heights and her drive along a road in Montana that scared the life out of her, it reminded me of the trip I made on my honeymoon with second husband. Here
I personally don’t have a fear of heights but that doesn’t mean I am not fearless in certain situations. I really don’t think I would be able to go on any of those glass walkways at various landmarks. I don’t take risks, I will look over the side of a cliff but from a safe distance. I do have a fear of rodents of any kind, yet I am fine with spiders.
Are you aware that there are two very different definitions of FEAR.
Forget Everything And Run which I guess is the more common reaction to fear.
Then there is
Face Everything And Rise
I do try to go with the second definition but that doesn’t always work. For many years I would do anything to avoid rollercoasters. After I recovered from my /cancer treatment I decided that I needed to learn to live life not just let life pass me by. On a trip to Belgium with my #2 son’s football team I went on my first rollercoaster at a water park we visited. I actually enjoyed that.
Being an introvert it is not easy for me to approach strangers. Joining Avon has helped me with that. I can’t always do it but I am getting better at talking to people I don’t know. Either to ask if they would be interested in becoming a customer or a Rep or just for a chat about anything.
In 2019 my #2 son was getting married and asked me to do a reading at the wedding. I’m ok talking to 2 or 3 people but a gathering of 6 or more leaves me feeling extremely red in the face with my eyes watering. It really isn’t something I enjoy. So imagine how I felt being asked to read to 100+ people mostly strangers to me. I did it though and I am very proud of myself.
More recently I had to face my fears on medical grounds. I was facing major surgery which terrified me. It wasn’t the operation that scared me but the waking up and recovery together with the change in my life that was that I feared. Each time I was given a date for surgery I bravely psyched myself up it was cancelled. Third time lucky. I tried not to think about it until I had no choice. I just had to get on with it. Last week I had to face my fear of needles. I kept myself busy until half an hour before my appointment. What made it worse for me was that on arrival I had to join a long queue. If I could have just gone straight in and got it over with that would have helped. However I held on to my courage and gradually moved ever nearer to the dreaded needle.
What has you trembling with fear? Do you face it or do you run?
I was thinking that it feels like Saturday but its only Tuesday. I tend to lose track of the days now. (yes I know I am not alone). I think I would be losing track even if we were not in lockdown. For most of my life especially my adult life I have had to keep track. Either for work or when my children were growing up for their school days. I remember years ago that I came to a realisation that all week I was looking forward to the weekend to arrive, then all weekend wishing for the week to start.
After I left my job in a Sales Office almost four years ago, I longed for the freedom of not having to live by the alarm clock. I am not and never have been good at mornings. Having to get up early enough to get my children ready for school/college and myself to work some 12 miles away by 8am was pure torture.
Working for myself to build our Network Marketing Business I was still setting the alarm but much later. I could choose my own timetable of when and where to work. Illness soon put paid to that for several months. 6 months later when my health was getting back to where it should be I found myself working as a parcel courier. 6 gruelling days a week. I definitely kept track of the days then. I always knew how many days there were until my day off on Sunday.
When my health issues put a stop to that work after 2 1/2 years I kept up my Avon business but on a part time basis to fit around my health and caring for my mother. Now that I never have to be anywhere at a certain time on certain days it is so easy for each day to be the same. In these days of lockdown I am limiting my forays out of the house to twice a week. I do everything I need to on those two days (usually Monday and Friday). This week is different because I am having my first Covid vacination shot on Thursday. The majority of people I know of have had a sore arm and slept a lot the following day. For that reason I am not going out on Friday I shall go on Saturday instead.
I saw something the other day about circular time. It was on the cover of a book I saw online. I don’t know about anyone else but I see time in circles. Each day is like a clock face that goes around twice. I think really I see time as more of a spring than actual circles. Each circuit leads onto the next one. My weeks are also like a spring. I guess like a slinky with each coil being a day and the coils wrapping around from left to right, five coils for the week days then two longer coils for the weekend wrapping back around to start the next week. Months are odd as each month is a straight line from left to right. My years though are going back to the clock face. This time January starting from the six position and going anti clockwise with June at the top then back down to the bottom with December at Seven position.