Not a baby

Today is a kind of momentous day for me.

18 years ago today I gave birth to skater.

When 1995 began I had what I considered to be a complete family. I had a husband and 3 sons who I adored plus a mother and father.

Unfortunately my father died from a massive heart attack (his first and final one) whilst serving a customer in his newsagents shop. Just 4 days after putting the business up for sale due to stress. He had turned 55 in December and died a month later. I remember it well. At that time I was the only one of his three children to be married. between the three of us there have been 4 more marriages. My three sons who he adored were the only grandchildren he saw. There are now 7 of them. My dad was always very good with small children. Anyway I digress.

My father died in January 1995, in March 1995 I became pregnant for the fourth time, not an easy thing to do when you have Polycystic ovary syndrome. (My ovaries did not work consistently) coupled with the infrequency of intimate relations with my husband. So this pregnancy was an unexpected surprise, even more surprising was that this new baby would be due on my father’s birthday 16th December. Because of my medical history ie 3 large babies including 2 caesarean sections it was decided to bring his birth forward.

Hence at 9.30am on Friday 1st December 1995 I gave birth by caesarean section to my fourth son weighing in at 7lb 8oz (my smallest baby). I was in hospital for 4 days before we were discharged back to normal family life. This baby boy who was due to be born on my father’s birthday has the same brown eyes as my father. (The others are blue, green and grey, none have my hazel eyes).

baby Joe

 

There are 4 years between Skater and Pug so it was not easy for me going back to the broken nights and dirty nappies that had begun 8 years earlier with Prodigal. It seemed that my life was going to revolve around baby stuff for a few more years yet.

toddler Joe

My cute little brown eyed blonde  toddler has grown up into a handsome dark haired, lovely natured young man.

Joe at 13  still cute at 13 Joe at 15 quite smart at 15  Joe at 17 young man of 17.

Life has not always been kind to this young man.  aged 5 he had just started school when his mother was taken ill (cancer, his dad told him his mummy was going to die). Aged 9 his parents went through an ugly divorce. He more than the others witnessed some of the nastier aspects of this. Resulting in him not wanting to leave my side, not wanting to go to school in case anything bad happened to me without him there to protect me. Growing up with an alcoholic father was not great, growing up in a single parent family was a struggle but so much happier. I am so pleased that this young man has grown up to be as lovely as he is without too many scars.

But even though Skater is now officially an adult he will always be my baby.

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2 comments on “Not a baby

  1. Mig says:

    Congratulations to both of you.

  2. Debbie says:

    What a lovely post! Thank you for sharing this.

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